The Case of the Sore Buttocks

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "probably because of something you did."


I have a theory -- I must make God laugh. For yesterday morning He was the only person who saw what happened to me! 


What kind of weather would that translate to, by the way? Cedar City weather? When it snows in the morning and warms up by Noon? If that's not showing a sense of humor I don't know what does...


BUT - back to yesterday morning.... I work at Cedar Middle School three mornings a week this semester with Allan Lee and David Palmer. I help out the Varsity Band and get great experience as a future music educator. I also realize things like the fact that I kind of have issues with the age 6th graders are. And maybe this issues are kind of severe and I need to work them out before I accept a Middle School gig which is probably looming sometime in my future...


Anyway! I need to wear professional attire, which includes dress shoes. Dress shoes have AWFUL traction. Horrendous. Almost non-existent.  - But these dress shoes I have, as far as dress shoes are concerned, are not too bad in the traction department. So, I sign out at the front office and I'm thinking about what I need to do back on SUU Campus and I'm in the parking lot in approximately 15 seconds....


Then I have one of those experiences where time slows down. It's probably more like my mind had red warning flags blasting, but for the sake of the story -- time slowed down... 


My right foot slipped out from under me... and in my effort to regain my balance I try to catch myself with my left foot. But, alas, my left foot slipped on the very same icy patch of doom! I had a very clear moment of thinking "I'm going to fall!"


And then I fell... right on my butt. Like, I'm not kidding. Directly on my butt! My butt came in contact with the icy asphalt and the impact must have traveled from my tail bone, through my spine and out the top of my head. I say out through the top of my head because the top of my head hurt. 


I sat there, stunned, thinking, "Oh my gosh - that really hurt!" And, after looking around to see if anyone saw me, I started laughing. In amongst said laughing were repeated "Owe"s and "Holy crap"s. I eventually got up and, really, by the time I got to the Rotunda for breakfast and time with some friends I didn't hurt anymore.


Cue this morning -- I slept really well last night and I woke up to my alarm and when I turned to turn it off, something was off.... I was a little sore from conducting the pep band at last night's basketball game, but the twisting of my hips caught my attention.


My butt... is so sore! It's not my tail bone, like it probably should be! It's the place just below my lower back, on both sides a little closer to where my hips are. And - I found out in the Block - when I laugh too hard the top of my head kills. 


That's right, ladies and gentlemen - the reason for my discomfort during walking, shifting in a chair, and the effort it takes to stand up and sit down, is because I'm pretty sure I have two pretty epic bruises forming just below my back... 


Thank heavens it doesn't hurt once I'm sitting down....